I thought i knew But now i KNOW

i thought it was missing the touch of romance. i thought there was a wall between us. i thought life would be hell without you. i thought i could not live without you by my side. i thought it was your appearance. i thought it was your secuding words. i thought all my feelings of love were for you, but i was wrong. We were not missing the touch of romance, there was never a real wall between us it was a door that i was not willing to open for you. Life for me would be just fine without you, i can live without you by my side because i have God. I thought your appearance was a problem for me but no, it was just another excuse to not be with you. i thought your words were so fascinating and addicting, i was wrong, i just don’t talk to as many people so i talked to you instead. And as for my feelings they were not for you, they were feelings for someone else that applied to you but not for you. I just want to be your friend because i realized our relationship is not working out. In school you pay too much attention to me, I’ve tried to tell you to focus on your studies but you wouldn’t no matter how serious i looked. You have been a huge distraction for me in school, even embarrassed me in front of my teachers. Dude you scared me like hell but it made me smile. at that time i had no idea why i felt so happy. Now i know, because ever since i met you there has been strings that attached me to you, however when that specific event accord you broke a multiple strings. it is kinda complicated why I’m happy for that. But all i can say about it is that it made me happy to be free from you after all these months of liking you in a way that draws me away from reality. I know when i was with you i had the sweetest dreams in life and in sleep. i know when i was with you my life and perspective changed within the blink of an eye. i know your lips are soft and kissable. i know you were a pervert in a good and bad way. i know you loved me. i know you were addicted to me. i know i was so interested and curious about you. i know i was addicted to you. i know i was blinded by the most wonderful fantasy a girl could ever have. i know you used to love me so much there was no way to weigh it or percent it. When i told you i just wanted to be friends, things would be better for me than for you. i do not know how you feel about me now, and for the first time in my life; i am not curious. Taken 8:22 4/16/09—–SINGLE 9:33am 4/22/09 (six days)

a sign?

just give me one simple sign

and i promies i wont whine.

thats the only thing i beg of you

other wise we’re through.

it is all your choice

whether to put it into voice,

that could be heard aloud

with or without a crowd!

i will wait for a sign

and i promise i wont whine.

gone at last

You are one obdurate

person to ever date.

So heartless you are

unbelievably you went that far.

NOw that you’re not here

i have absolutely nothing to fear!

forgetfull

All the boys i’ve ever met

are so DAMN easy to forget!

they make things boring

before i even start snoring!

i dont want to stay,

alli wanna do is go away!

They cant keep me,

because i fight hard to be FREE!